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From reading on many forums and newsgroups, I noticed that many husbands are struggling to find insight on how to get a wife to have sex with them. This is a very serious problem in many marriages, since a lot of women seem not to be interested in having sex with their husbands anymore. And for most men, sex plays a very important role in marriage!

I am in no way a sexual expert, but I have spent a number of happy years with my wife and she hardly ever refuses to go to bed with me. So I’d like to share a few tips on how to get a wife to have sex – if not always, then at least in vast majority of cases!

Tip #1. Women associate sex with a good emotional relationship much more often than men. What it basically means is that your wife will not respond to you in bedroom if you do not treat her well outside the bedroom. If you spend your evenings in front of TV or newspaper and hardly ever speak to her (or even worse, you yell and get angry at her), don’t expect that she will want to go to bed with you. She needs to feel that she is loved by you, and that you care about her. There are many ways you can (and should) show it to her:

• Talk to her and spend time with her. It’s better than watching TV, believe me! Ask how her day was, show care about her worries, and share your thoughts with her.
• Take her opinions and needs into consideration. I know many husbands who feel that they are the ultimate lords of their households and only their opinions matter. Your wife must see that you make your decisions based not only on what you want, but also on what she wants and needs.
• Tell her that you love her. A woman needs to hear that over and over again, or else she will think that you don’t love her anymore (it’s contrary to most men, who can be told a thing once and don’t need to be remembered all the time). You should tell this to your wife at least once a day.
• Buy her flowers and small gifts.
• Share some household duties with her.
• Don’t shout or yell at her, and even if you happen to (and who doesn’t from time to time?), apologize and try to set things straight as soon at possible.

Sadly to say, many husbands neglect these things after a year or two of their marriage. They fall into daily routine and forget that their wives should be their ultimate best friends. No wonder that their sex life very quickly starts to suffer.

Tip #2. Women’s sexuality is different than men’s. A simple example could be that men usually get excited by what they see, but women get excited by being touched and by hearing the voice of their beloved. That’s why there are plenty of magazines with naked women, but hardly any with naked men! The reason is that men find sexual pleasure in looking at naked women, but naked men are irrelevant for most women. This one example should give you the idea on how different the women are! Also, a man is usually ready to have sex almost instantly, while a woman takes time to “warm up” to sex. So if you are impatient and want to have sex immediately, you can scare your wife off easily.

What you basically need is to talk with your wife about what gives her pleasure in sex, and also read some good literature about that. You will be surprised that a woman needs many different things in bed than you. If you just think about your own pleasure, and not give her what she needs, she will not want to have sex with you.

Tip #3. Never treat sex as a reward, or threaten your wife that you won’t do certain things unless she goes to bed with you. Similarly, don’t get angry and mad at her when she doesn’t want to go to bed with you. She must feel that you love her regardless of whether she has sex with you or not.

Tip #4. Be innovative and experiment. Sex can get boring if it’s made the same way all the time. Try to experiment with new positions, gadgets and so on. But at all times, consult this with your wife, so that all the decisions you make about your sex life will be made together! Again, reading some good literature on the subject will help you a lot.

While I can’t promise that these tips will get your wife to have sex with you all the time, they will surely improve your sex life greatly. If you practice them for a week or two, you will see a difference that won’t let you stop!

Meeting someone and generally trying to have a particular effect on that person creates anxiety for most people, those just starting to date and even those “experienced” in the dating field. Something triggers the hormones in your body into sudden overdrive but it is what you do after this trigger that counts. Some people even after making the initial contact with the opposite sex tend to be unsure of what to do next. But there are others who waste no time in the art of seduction once the contact has been established.

Seduction stands for different things in different cultures and different groups of peoples. While seduction for some people inspires images of love and emotional intimacy, and generates a feeling of excitement, sensuality and sexual desire, most people don’t like the idea of “seducing”. For many others, the idea of seduction creates a fear of being deceived, victimized and sexually harassed. It usually implies that the seducer is acting out of a motive other than love for the seducee, and that the object of the seduction would not ordinarily have engaged in such behavior.

Attempts in the last few decades to make our society more sex-positive have only produced a viciously superficial discourse that has further succeeded in intensifying our fear of the art of seduction as something if allowed to be freely expressed, is hurtful, destructive and damaging to us as individuals and to society as a whole.

In our modern society, seduction corresponds with deception, trickery, selfishness, exploitation, pretense and/or a play on words. One is seduced by the promises of a lover, a salesman, a politician, or an artist. Seduction seems clearly designed to trick one into taking nonsense for reality. We see this kind of seduction celebrated as entertainment and advertised as a commodity complete with pornographic images, narrative and symbolism. We see it in the media, movies, music videos, work place, school, and is even taught at metaphysical seminars that it is virtually impossible to escape it in every day everyday life. Many celebrities and stars owe their fame to their mastery of seduction.

This disenchanted interpretation of seduction as a desire which wants to be acted out, the body as something which cannot wait to be undressed has infiltrated even our sexual relationships. Seduction in most cases has nothing to do with love or even being attracted to the other person. Instead it is about getting something – like sex or financial favours through the use of deceit and trickery. Many of us suffer from its disastrous influence and it would be easy to point out many spheres where our attempts at the art of seduction are more manipulative and selfish than loving and selfless.

Most people learn the power of exploitative seduction from a very young age using seduction to get what they want from their parents and siblings, special favors from the teacher and other kids. It starts when a child who often is shy, insecure and doesn’t feel confident in him or herself becomes aware that by seducing others, she or he can get attention from those whom she or he seduces. This attention in some way gives the child a sense of self worth. Through seduction, the child feels like the other person likes him or her because they pay more attention, give and do things which make the child feel special. But this is a false sense of self worth. If they aren’t able to seduce someone they feel unworthy and so step up the seduction.

As they grew older they continue this pattern and automatically switch on this seduction when they want something from someone. They feel good when they are able to seduce, but in the core of their being, self worth is contingent on whether they can seduce another or not. Seduction feeds their lack of self worth, lack of confidence, lack of feeling good about themselves. If they are not able to seduce they feel unworthy. Some people have perfected this art that they are not even consciously aware of it.

When we seduce in this way, it is only a false sense of power based on another allowing us to seduce them. When we are exploitatively seduced, we basically have given our power away to the seducer. It takes away from naturalness, “truth,” and the entire reality of the empowering qualities of the art of seduction A person in their own personal power, full of self love and self worth has no need to seduce in a manipulative way, nor can they be manipulatively seduced.

Given the fact that manipulative seduction has impregnated our modern world, are frustrating, superficial, mechanical, predictable, manipulative, selfish, emotionally disconnected relationship void of passion and heightened intimacy inevitable? Should we throw up our hands and never hope to possess the rare transformative well of power, healing and spiritual elevation that the art of seduction offers?

Certainly not! Ancient practitioners of the art of seduction were so amazed at the power of this energy that they were convinced it was the secret of youth, healthy and vitality.

Our human nature is not so altered that we cannot do our part. Indeed, the evolutionary job had already begun. The modern versions of “ancient rituals and practices” provide modern audiences with glimpses of what the art of seduction once was, but when we start believing that it is the only way to connect with the opposite sex, then we fall into the trap of memorized pickup lines and mechanical seduction scripts which steal away from us the very power that makes the art of seduction so naturally powerful. We invariably lose both the heart and the soul of the seduction phenomenon and thus our connection to one of the deepest and most profound aspects of human fulfillment.

It’s time to demystify and rehabilitate the lost art of seduction and put its mega power to use. The whole mystery of this forgotten and long-misunderstood timeless ritual may well be what we need today to rescue us from the current erotic famine, get our groove back on and the fire back in our groins.

If you are reading this, and fit the situation, then the subject is already a consideration on your mind.

You may have read something on the subject, spoken to a girlfriend who has passed through the experience recently, and heard about it in school. We hope to help you here, with a short guide. It is for you.

First of all, you must feel it is the correct thing to do. You must NOT be pressured into it, or the experience will fail to bring you the pleasure and good memories you expect and deserve. You are in charge of your life and body. You must really feel ready for it.

If you have been masturbating, you probably had clitoral orgasm, so you know what is possible in terms of feelings. You must also, know your own anatomy.

You know you have some outer lips that cover the vulva, and some inner lips which are very flexible. If your hymen is intact, you are also going to tear that, with the accompanying sensations and bleeding. Find out.

In the second consideration, do not have sex if you have over-drunk alcohol. You can become drunk and lose a great deal of your judgment after even one drink.

The third consideration is INSISTING on the use of a condom with your partner. The reasons for this are well known, and certainly there is no excuse for not using it. You must be protected. This is a health concern, a very good way to prevent conception, and generally a good idea as it will help to slow down your partner by desensitizing him a bit.

So to begin.

You cannot have too much foreplay. This should take the form of mutual kissing, erotic massaging, exploring each other’s bodies, seeing where each of you are sensitive and have erogenous spots. Don’t rush. It will be over soon enough as it is.

All the while as you have foreplay, your womb will be producing the all important moisture that is required. Believe us, the wetter the better. You cannot be too wet for the first time. If you are a bit adventurous, ask you partner to give you cunnilingus, and if you can, give to your partner some fellatio. These are wonderful signs of showing affection.

Getting into it.

Make sure after your foreplay (and perhaps fellatio) put on the condom if you haven’t already. The partner may make the first move to go directly into the standard missionary position. Bad idea. It is the worst position to lose your virginity. You are not in control, and it will be more painful and you cannot do anything but lay there and take it. Instead, try the girl on top position. Here you are in control. Your vagina has never had anything in it before (like a penis) and it must accommodate it slowly…and it will.

If you are losing you hymen, you are the one determining the speed and pressure with which it occurs. You will not suffer, and if you are still not wet enough, you can apply some water-based vaginal lubricant (such as K-Y). The deed is soon done, and you can get down to thrusting.

At first, have your partner move without thrusting, just applying pressure while fully inserted in your vagina. As it begins to feel natural, you can your self start thrusting.

At this point you can change positions (assuming your partner has lasted) and go onto your back. However, do not settle for the simple missionary position, but tilt your pelvis slightly up, and ask your partner to suspend himself on his arms and not lay on you…this when thrusting will stimulate both your clitoris and G-spot.

There are a lot of variables here, but lose you virginity as we suggest, and you will have in your mind pleasant memories instead of feeling unfilled, or used.