The Emergency Phone Sex Call
“How can help you,” Officer Pamela Patterson answered the call that came in on her emergency dispatch.
“I’m horny,” a slurred, male voice responded. “Let’s have telephone sex, baby.”
Pam blew her long, black bangs away from her eyes, adjusted her headset, and sighed loudly. “Sir, this call center is for emergencies only.”
“This is an emergency,” the man whined.
“It is not, sir,” Pam spoke in her firmest voice. “An emergency is defined as one where a person’s life is in danger. Good night.”
“But my dick is so hard I think it’s going to explode, and then I’m going to bleed to death,” argued the man.
Pamela shook her head.
“Then it’s going to be your fault I’m dead, and my wife will sue you for everything you have.”
Pamela leaned back in her chair. With the phones quiet, it had been a long seven hours. If a real emergency came online, she would hang up on this guy immediately, but for now, he was beginning to make her laugh.
“So you have a wife?”
“Yep, a pretty wife with a big ass. Do you have a big ass?”
“Would you put your wife on please?”
“I can’t she’s dead.”
Officer Patterson sat upright. “Your wife is dead, in your house right now? Are you playing with me, sir? I’m about to dispatch some units to your house.”
“Okay. Just make sure they’re all hot bitches, really hot cause you’re not very good at this telephone sex thing.”
Something didn’t sound right. “Sir, is your wife breathing?”
“Of course, she is,” the man replied in an offended tone.
“But you said she was dead.”
Pamela heard loud laughter.
“Well she said I fucked her to death, and then she went to bed.”
Pamela struggled to hold in her own laughter. “Have a good night, sir.”
“So this means no telephone sex?”
“That’s right, sir. No phone sex.”
“I’ll give you two dollars.”
“Should I remind you that I am a police officer, sir?”
“Oh hell. I might as well go fuck my wife in the ass while she’s asleep.”
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